Maybe we get closer to a solution if we distinguish between *trigger* settings (belonging to the module) and *sound* settings (belonging to a ROMpler/a VSTi).
A VSTi doesn't have any influence on the triggers, it works with the MIDI notes/velocities coming over the MIDI/USB connection.
If my trigger setup is working fine with a specific soundset in a specific VSTi/drum software and doesn't work with another soundset, the temptation is big to use the buttons on the module - because you're sitting near it.
But that leads to the discussed point with permanent changing ext. trigger setups.
I'm kicking my own ass now and tweak the VSTi's on my Mac to get the right sounds by playing with volume/gain, velocity range, the MIDI keymap, different instruments (i.e. played with sticks or mallets or doubled), mic positions, ambients etc. Then i save a preset - done!
Maybe that's why i'm a BFD2 fan