I have tried both kinds of resets, and no luck. tried isolating the head just like you said and that didn't work either. I have the module opened up and everything looks normal but I'm far from versed in electronics.
Am I screwed? do I need a new module? pretty bummed out
It's hard to check for something unless it's obvious/physical like a broken pin around the DB25 connector..one of those resistors could be bad.
There is an Internal test mode for the DD650 modules including a test for checking the pads/triggers and it should work to detect if something is wrong with the module..it won't tell you what it is but if the harness and trigger are in working order it will give you an indication the module is not.
Make sure you use a tom that you know works perfectly(head and rim)..connect to the snare cable..
Module Tests ...
press and hold Down+Up buttons simultaneously while powering on ..you'll see the Alesis splash screen..Firmware Version .. "Booting"..
Then you'll see the main menu ...use the up/down buttons to maneuver...press down to pad test which is #2...press enter
There will be a PAD... and Value...
The "Pad" will show which trigger is being hit..the "Value" will show if the hit is detected and what velocity..
Strike the head..you should see a value..you can keep hitting ..the value will change with velocity...it will be anywhere from 1-127..127 is full velocity
To get out of the tests..press down button until you reach #8 erp..press enter..module will shutdown..
Then power on normally and check to see if anything changed for the snare..I have put modules in test mode before and sometimes for whatever reason certain problems fix themselves after being tested....more often than not..they don't
If there is no Value and your certain (you posted you bought another) it's not the harness(s) .. or the trigger(tom head or rim)..then the module needs to be serviced....
EDIT:If it turns out the module does have a problem you can still use it for MIDI as you posted above..leave Toms 1,2,3 connected in the same position on the rack and run a 1/4" TRS cable from the Tom 4 expansion on the back of the module to the snare..you'll still have a 5pc "Rock" setup.. 2 up 1 down which is standard for a lot of software including Melodics..(not all software/Vst support 6-7+ piece kits) then assign a snare voice.
You can also change the MIDI note assignments for Tom 4 in the module so it will trigger in the software as a Snare..Head is usually 38..Rim is usually 40.