Hi BlindingEdge, welcome to the forum and nice to hear you haven't given up drums! I was the same back in the mid-80s, had settled down, lived in apartments, couldn't make the noise and electronic hadn't taken off or become affordable. 25 yrs later I got back in and got the DM10X mylar, converted it to mesh, added some extras and wham, I'm back
For my cymbals, sometimes I just wipe them with a damp sponge and slightest bit of soap but there's real rubber cleaners for sure. For crosstalk, just keep adjusting it in the module and check sensitivity and trigger settings... may be a long process but it's doable.. I now only get the odd ghost trigger from my 1st tom's rim, all other has been eliminated. Kick drum jitters, do you mean it shakes from side to side a bit when playing? If that's what you mean, I think I found that the stand was a bit wobbly, both in how it connected to your pedal, and the plate. If I recall, I had to add a pair of rubber stick on feet to the plate to even it out.. the tube feet out front were ok, but the plate part was designed a bit oddly, and I think also it tended to raise the kick pedal up higher than you'd normally have if it was on a traditional bass drum. But rubber stick on pads are your friend.
I'm a huge AD2 fan, and use it pretty much exclusively now. Make sure your settings are good in the module first, then use the closest preset (they have a DM10 if I recall.. I had to add my extra cymbals and pads, just use the learn function and save the mapping as your default). I haven't had to make any major adjustments in AD2 after that, seems the hi-hat functionality improves and pretty much everything seems to work just a lot better than the default module voicings and triggerability. I do fart around with the volume of the kick and hi-hat presets and sometimes I have to turn up the ride a bit and turn down a couple of the crashes. But I don't think you're able to import any personal voicings, as far as I know or can see, it's only what they've got in the program and what you can do to alter their presets..then you can save them to your favourites.. there's a ton of FX and editing there if you have time, I've had it for about 5 yrs and still have yet to change mic placements, reverb and other shaping.. I just wanna get on and play and there's so much in there I'm always content (but I've bought most of the Adpaks and instruments). I just bought the Mark One pack for Addictive Keys, they had a 50% off sale, so want to try looping some funky keyboards in my Ableton Live and drum to it, but it's another learning curve!
Enjoy your kit and the vst! Share some photos of video someday